3. Worrying

Anxiety is probably the oldest Jewish past-time, and Jews can worry about anything: Their family, their health, their debts, their level of insurance coverage, their choice of laundry detergent, etc.

To a casual observer, a Jew in the street may seem happy and care-free, but underneath the surface they are most likely thinking: Did I tip that waiter too much or not enough? Is this a pimple or a tumor? Did I leave the oven on? Am I giving enough to charity? Will Barack Obama allow Arab terrorists to annihilate Israel? What really is in hot dogs? Are these shoes too big for my feet? Do I look ridiculous? Am I doing everything I can to fight global warming? Should I be flossing twice a day?

2. Florida

Jews, and particularly elder Jews, are drawn to Florida much in the same way that Muslims are drawn to Mecca or Christians are drawn to shopping malls.

Florida has everything an old Jewish person could want: mild weather, shuffleboard, and many other old Jews with whom to compare the achievements of their children and grandchildren. Whether it's retiring East Coast Jews or Caribbean and South-American Jews, Florida seems to be the hot spot that attracts Jews to habitate like a fiddler attracts a square dance.

1. Graduate Education

It's a fact, all Jews love graduate education. If you are in a Jewish family, you never really reach an adult status until you have completed a graduate degree (although let's face it, according to a Jewish mother you never really reach adult status). In Jewish circles, an adult who does not have a graduate degree is treated as an outcast, the way gentile circles would treat a child molester or crack cocaine addict. you might hear a discussion such as this:

"Is that Linda's Son all grown up?"
"Who, him? Oh yes."
"Is he a doctor?"
"Not exactly."
"Lawyer?"
"Actually he started working right after UCLA, he's an account executive."
"How is Linda taking it? Is there any hope for either of them?"

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